I was born in battle, on an asteroid called Demon’s Run. I was the daughter of Amy Pond and Rory Williams. They named me Melody Pond. I was kidnapped, taken by Kovarian, a servant of the Silence to an orphanage on Earth. I was raised with only one purpose: to kill the Doctor. I escaped the spacesuit and lived on the streets homeless, alone, and dying, until I regenerated. And became the best friend of young Amy and Rory. Growing up with my parents, waiting for the arrival of the Doctor. And then I regenerated into a new form. I was the woman who would become River Song. Although, I didn’t know that at the time. (I was trained and conditioned for one purpose. I was born to kill the Doctor.) And I did so with a kiss. A kiss poisoned by the Judas tree. But I was shown who River Song would be. And I saw just how much I would love him. And so I gave all my remaining lives to restore his. Because I knew the Doctor was worth it. And in return, he left me the most wonderful gift. I knew that someday I would find the Doctor. But the spacesuit was waiting for me. But I just couldn’t bring myself to kill him. And so, all of time collapsed. And only the Doctor could save the universe. Rule one: the Doctor lies. He escaped his own death. A secret I knew I had to keep. Even though it meant imprisonment. But I’ve always been good at escaping. From this point on, I realize I knew more than him. From that moment on, we were living our lives in the wrong order, the Doctor and me. And in all our future meetings, I would know him more but he would know me less. Until one day, the Doctor would invite me to watch me kill him. Once again I found myself at Lake Silencio, falling back on my own timeline. This time, a witness to the Doctor’s shooting, knowing everything but unable to tell those who cared the most that the Doctor would survive. Back to the orphanage where I grew up only this time as witness to my own escape. Did I mention I was kickass with a gun? No one kidnaps me and gets away with it. And then came his first kiss, and my last. But I always knew the Doctor would be there for me, so long as I left a message. He would always be there to catch me. Even at the crash of the Byzantium, he came. My love couldn’t resist it. Bringing with him an Amy who did not know me. I’d finally let her know the wonderful secret, that the best man I’d ever known was alive. However delighted they were, I knew a far worst day was waiting for me. My last encounter with the Doctor. I always knew one day my love wouldn’t know me. Now I looked into his eyes and saw that day has come. The Doctor was willing to sacrifice himself to save the library, but I had to take his place. But that man, that impossible man never gives up. The Doctor saved me, preserving me in a computer, and all my glorious memories of the Doctor live on. Because just sometimes, everybody lives.

Silence will fall when the question is asked. The times I’ve heard those words, I never realized it was my silence, my death.

I suppose in the end, they break my heart.

Did I ever tell you about this boy I met there?

AMY: What, Rory? How’ve I got Rory?
RORY: Yeah! How… how’s she got me?
AMY: He’s not mine.
RORY: No. No. I’m not hers.
MELS: Oh, come on. Seriously, it’s got to be you two. Oh, cut to the song; it’s getting boring!
AMY: Nice thought, okay, but completely impossible.
RORY: Yeah, impossible.
AMY: I’d love too, he’s gorgeous, he’s my favorite guy, but he’s, you know, gay.
RORY: A friend. I’m not gay.
AMY: Yes, you are.
RORY: No. No I’m not.
AMY: Of course you are, don’t be stupid! In the whole time I’ve known you, when have you shown the slightest interest in a girl? I’ve known you, what, ten years? I’ve seen you practically every day. Name one girl you’ve paid the slightest bit of attention to.

Tonight’s show is a little different. Tonight’s show is about a man who’s not really a man. He’s a doctor, but he’s not really a doctor. Like Doctor Phil, but awesome. Most people in the United States of America have not heard of him. He’s just like me in that regard. Who is he? He’s The Doctor! In 1963 the BBC premiered a show about an alien who traveled through space and time to combat the powers of evil. (He’s a force for good in an otherwise uncertain universe.) You are correct in your summation of his character my profane rabbit friend. (Ooh, tell me more!) The show has been running in Britain almost fifty years, with many different actors in the role of The Doctor. (The Doctor doesn’t die he just regenerates.) The crocodile alligator speaks the truth. One thing is consistent though and this is why the show is so beloved by geeks and nerds. It’s all about the triumph of intellect and romance over brute force and cynicism. Intellect and romance over brute force and cynicism! And if there’s any hope for us in this giant explosion in which we inhabit then surely that’s it. Intellect and romance triumph over brute force and cynicism! Right, Doctor?

Live well. Love Rory. Bye-bye, Pond.

Crimson. Eleven. Delight. The smell of dust after rain.

Hey, Barney Stinson. Lovely dress. I know, I’m sick of these things too. It’s like the same wedding over and over again. You’re totally right! Wanna dance? Great, see you out there! Tell people what?

MATT: This is the worst- you didn’t even create a character!

KAREN: I’m not gonna ask you any questions ever again!

ARTHUR: It’s great to be back. We’re having a really good time, getting on really well.

DOCTOR: Oh, blimey! Okay, probably leave a message at the tone or something. Sorry, I wasn’t really trying to do this, I was looking for the breaks!

AMY: Doctor? Doctor, can you hear me? Are you ever gonna hear this? You don’t even know you’ve got an answer phone. How can you be so clever and so completely stupid at the same time? Well if you can hear this, please just pick up the phone. Don’t get confused, I’m not invisible or trapped in a space ball or something, I’m just talking on the answer phone so just pick up the phone. You said you’d find my baby. You said you’d find Melody. Have you found her? Because you promised. I know she’s gonna be okay, I know she’ll grow up to be River, but… that’s not the point, is it? I don’t wanna miss all those years, you know? I can’t stand it. I can’t. Please, Doctor. Please. Okay. Phone me back when you know something. Please, Doctor, at least do that. As soon as you know. Okay? Alright, bye.